What’s It All About?

Broken was one of the first stories I wrote about my real cat Z. It was literally inspired by a glass item that my cat broke. Z is not the type of cat who always lands on her feet. She is often awkward and clumsy, which is why I love her so much. She was trying to step over a glass container on a ledge. She lost her footing and bear hugged the glass on the way down. The cat survived without a scratch, the glass did not.

No, my cat did not have a reckoning, and finally apologize to me for breaking something. Instead she just did what cats do, she ran away and went back to sleep. What she did give me, was an idea for the book. This book strives to ask us, what do we want children to do when they make a mistake? More importantly, how do we want adults to act?

Lessons for Children

If you have spent enough time with children, you have most likely been lied to at least once. A child with chocolate smeared all over their face, may tell you that they have no idea who took a big bite out of the chocolate cake. A child with marker lines all over their hands, may tell you that some imaginary creature came in and drew all over the walls. Lying happens. Self preservation is human nature. Honesty takes practice. I know full grown adults who have still not mastered the art of honesty.

The main lesson of the book is that when you make a mistake, it is important to tell the truth. It is not right to blame it on someone else. It is best to own up to what you did and say that you are sorry. The lesson for children is hard to miss in the book. In fact, there is one whole page dedicated to Z saying she is sorry. This is partly because I wanted to get that across as something important, and partly because I am not very good at drawing. The lessons for adults are not explicitly stated, but may be more important than those for children.

Lessons for Adults

As mentioned, honesty doesn’t come naturally, it takes practice. Honesty also takes trust in the person to whom you are telling the truth. We, as adults, should encourage children to tell the truth and give them a safe place to tell it. You may notice in the book, that the person wearing those ugly green shoes, is not yelling at the cat for the mistake. This picture also explains why I never pursued a career as a shoe designer. The adult in the story is enforcing the lesson that honesty and remorse are important. They are reinforcing the good behavior that Z showed when she told the truth and apologized. They are not even considering the bad behavior. A broken glass is a small price to pay for a powerful lesson.

Ideally we want children to admit their mistake and apologize. We want them to understand right from wrong. Even if they do lie, we want them to develop a conscience that nags them until they tell the truth. We want these things to be natural and to develop quickly in children. We often scold and punish accordingly expecting to get the desired results. However, we do have to think about the hidden lessons we are giving children through our punishments. Are we pushing them to tell the truth, or are we pushing them to take their chance on a lie to avoid a big punishment?

One of the hardest things to do as an adult is to remember that children make mistakes. Sometimes the mistakes they make feel so silly, that it is hard to think of it as anything other than something done on purpose. The truth is, children experience the world differently. They will break things. They will hurt themselves. They will make the same mistake over and over in slightly different ways. Each mistake can either be looked at as a failure, or as an opportunity for learning and growing. A mistake that is corrected, such as a child who comes clean about an initial lie, is one of the most powerful things you can experience. How will you choose to look at mistakes?

Ideas for Discussion

This can be a great book to use to discuss things with your child. You can assess how they think about things

Talk About Honesty

I love playing games and having fun with children, but one of my favorite activities to do with children is to sit down with them and ask them about serious topics. For this story, you can sit down and have a talk about the importance of honesty. Sometimes children will surprise you with wisdom beyond their years. Sometimes they will give you such an adorable answer that you will just melt inside. Sometimes the will make you laugh uncontrollably. You may learn that a time that they saw someone act dishonestly was when Joey peed his pants in class and tried to blame the puddle on Aquaman.

Talk About the Pictures

This story not only allows you to talk about serious topics, such as honesty. It also allows you to use the pictures to help your child make deeper connections. I am not great at drawing. I literally have to trace existing pictures of my cats to create these stories, but they could be stick figures, so they are at least something. For example, you can start with the title page. There is a word, “Broken”, a cat, and a glass. You can ask your child what they think will happen. This can be a great way to develop cause and effect. You can ask them what they think is in the glass. It’s an orange liquid, what kind of beverage might be orange?

Talk About Safety

A glass broke, and a liquid spilled on the floor. What could happen if it wasn’t cleaned up? Glass can be sharp and cut someone. Someone could slip on the liquid. If it isn’t cleaned up, it could attract bugs. You can talk about safety and the importance of cleaning up.

Talk About Apologizing

You can not only talk about the importance of apologizing, and when they should apologize for things, you can also talk about how they feel when someone doesn’t apologize. This can be a very powerful activity. It lays the groundwork for a very important skill, empathy. If a child is able to connect how they felt when Sally didn’t apologize for stealing their cookie at lunch, with how Jimmy might feel if they took his ball during recess, they may be able to make better decisions. It’s a process, but baby steps can always be celebrated!

In Conclusion

Mistakes happen. Using honesty to admit what you did wrong takes practice. Even an initial lie that was admitted to later, is a great step! Just be careful not to discourage honesty with harsh punishments. Make yourself a safe person to talk to and explain mistakes